Recaps

“Namaste” Recap

I Vote For…

“I vote for not camping,”
Said Hurley, while tramping
Alongside the beautiful ocean.

“I vote we search for food!”
Said César, not in the mood
To listen to Frank’s calm advice.

“I vote to take a boat,”
Said Ben, wanting to cross the moat
To reach what he calls “our island”.

“I vote for the name Ethan,”
Said Amy, while sleepin’
Enjoying the sunshine in her hammock.

“I vote for Kate Austen,”
Said Juliet, who often
Has staredowns with rival Kate.

“I vote that we shoot ‘im,”
Said Radzinksy, who assumed then
That Sayid had to be a hostile.

“I vote for just thinking,”
Said Sawyer, while drinking
A Dharma beer in his home.

“I vote for no mustard,”
Said young Ben, with more gusto
Than anything we’ve heard from that kid before!

“The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham” Recap

Diary of a Wheelchair

Dear Diary,
What an interesting few days I’ve had! Honestly, I’ve lost track of how many days have gone by, but it’s been long enough for me to travel to a from some desert-filled African country. I had been in a medical supply store in Tripoli, just sitting between the oxygen tanks and the walkers, praying for change. I had been there for months before that tall man with concave cheeks purchased me. On my way out the door, I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass door, and I am quite the handsome black wheelchair, if I do say so myself. Those red crossbars beneath my seat do tend to give me a somewhat ominous look; maybe that’s what made the bald guy with the broken leg look at me with such suspicion, and dare I say, spite? Anyhow, at present we are traveling, so I am in the back of an SUV with plenty of time to write down my thoughts. Oh wait, I think we’re pulling up to an airport now.

Dear Diary,
Your truly is becoming quite the world traveler! In the past few days we’ve traveled so much that I haven’t had the opportunity to write, but after a layover in Europe, we ended up in the Dominican Republic for a few days, and then on to the Big Apple! Yes, New York City! Ah, there’s nothing quite like the big city. We didn’t do much sightseeing, but just being there was good enough for me, dear diary. The people watching is fantastic! My broken-legged passenger seemed to just be interested in people-watching, too, but then one of the people recognized him, and they had a nice little chat, after which we left town. But I’ve gotten ahead of myself and haven’t said anything about la Republica Dominicana! A lovely yet rustic place, and again, my bald passenger met with someone who seemed to be an old friend, although they did not talk for very long. However, my passenger always talks with such feeling, with such earnestness–I believe he must have the very best intentions. I try to be the best, most helpful wheelchair that I can be, and I know he must appreciate it, though he never says so; yet I believe we are becoming friends.

Dear Diary,
Ah, the West Coast! I thought our other destinations were wonderful, but this…this is a sort of paradise! The scenery, at least, is wonderful, although the people we’ve visited haven’t been so welcoming. A very pretty woman seemed on the verge of tears when we visited her, and the big guy with curly hair ran away from us in obvious distress. I hope it wasn’t something I did! Oh dear.

Dear Diary,
…I am confused and sad. Today we visited a grave site, which seemed very significant to my broken-legged passenger, and moved me almost to tears. Suffice it to say, I was already in such an emotional state that when the tall man with concave cheeks got shot just after he placed me in the trunk of the car, I burst into tears and cried so hard that I barely noticed when we got into a terrible traffic accident. My paint got scratched a little, but that was nothing compared to what my poor passenger went through.

Dear Diary,
It is with the heaviest of hearts that I write my final entry. Diaries should be light-hearted and interesting, yet my life seems to be wrought with pain and difficulties. My dear, beloved, bald-headed, broken-legged passenger…was murdered! And this was after he almost committed suicide, while I looked on and could to nothing! Nothing! Oh, dear diary, I felt so helpless. I tried to yell, but barely a squeak issued from my well-oiled wheels. And then that malicious man came in, pretended to be friendly towards my bald passenger (may he rest in peace!) and strangled him. Then he sprayed me down with some noxious, no doubt toxic cleaning solution and left me to stare and my passenger’s sad shadow cast against the wall. Oh, dear diary, what shall I do? I have nothing left to live for.

“316” recap

Jack and Locke poem

An eye in the jungle opens; it’s Jack.
Then to 46 hours ago we go back.
Ms. Hawking has historical secrets to unlock,
Yet Desmond’s upset and can only mock.
Locke’s body will fill in for something they lack:
Recreating 815 requires a corpse in the back.
Kate visits Jack without bothering to knock.
She won’t talk about Aaron, but she’s clearly in shock.
Jack helps his granddad Ray unpack
And finds his father’s shoes, shiny and black.
At the airport Jack claims to escort Locke
And Hurley buys up seats, protecting the socks.
Sun’s there from Korea, and Sayid from Iraq;
Ben shows up late after his mystery attack.
Aboard the plane, time goes slowly, tick-tock;
Jack finally reads the short note from John Locke.
Then the turbulence starts in that night so black–
Are they pulled from the plane? All we know is, they’re back.

“This Place Is Death” Recap

Island Diary

Dear Diary,
Today some pesky humans were trespassing near my sacred grounds, so I sent Smokey to deal with them. He killed one, but then the others made a big racket, which was annoying, so I told Smokey to pick one, bring that one into the Temple, and have a heart-to-heart talk with him. But his crazy friends tried to follow him–into the Temple, of all places!–so I was forced to send those three men over to Room 23 for some quick brainwashing. They will obey me from now on. Then I realized that it might be bad if the Asian man were still there when the other men returned; he might learn too much about me, and I can’t have that happening, so I decided it was high time for another flash through time.

Dear Diary,
This entry comes very soon after the previous entry. Today is shaping up to be an eventful day here in the old “snow globe”, as I like to call my little piece of the universe. I watched the Asian man meet up with his little friends, woohoo. That redheaded woman is just hanging by a thread, so I time-flashed again to try to knock her unconscious–you know, make things a little more exciting. Usually things are pretty boring here. Anyway, it worked better than I had hoped! With a few quick time-flashes, not only did the redhead pass out; she also got a killer nosebleed and started talking jibberish! I decided a celebratory time-flash was in order.

Dear Diary,
My ears are burning, which means someone somewhere is talking about me. It’s been going on for a while and it’s starting to annoy me! Couldn’t say for sure who would be talking about me, but my guess is that it’s either that doctor guy, the bug-eyed Scotsman, or maybe…Ben.

Dear Diary,
Well, looks like Charlotte’s babbling just told Locke something about what he needs to do. He is always trespassing where I don’t want him to go, so I waited for an opportunity to make things a little harder for him. I couldn’t believe it when the blonde woman, the one that’s lived here for a few years, said how lucky it was that they were in the same time as the Orchid station. It was just a golden opportunity to prove her wrong. And, dear diary, I couldn’t help it–I laughed!–and I time-flashed again before they could enter the Orchid! Ha-ha!

Dear Diary,
You distracted me! Yes, “dear diary”, while I was writing on your crisp, clean pages only moments ago, I almost missed the best opportunity of all: to time-flash while the bald one was climbing down into the well! For an old man, he sure moves fast, but I started another time-flash in the nick of time and buried him deep underground. He–OoOoOh…What’s that rumbling in my tummy? I don’t feel so good…

“The Little Prince” Recap

The Little Prince: A Poem in Rhyming Couplets

Jack and Kate are still having issues
Even though Kate said, “I have always been with you.”

Sun’s acting strange; it’s a little suspicious,
Pulling guns from the bottom of candy dishes.

What’s wrong with Charlotte? Is it really bad jet lag?
If it’s not fixed soon, she’ll end up in a body bag.

Juliet continually argues with Sawyer;
Kate has a chat with the blood-test lawyer.

Locke plans to return to the Orchid station
To save the inhabitants of this island nation.

Sayid’s in the hospital, turning the tables on a stealthy attack;
The attacker has Kate’s address, frightening Jack.

So when are we now in island-time?
Claire’s giving birth, and the hatch light shines.

Who wants custody of Aaron? The mother of Claire?
Nope, it’s only Ben, with his slicked-down hair.

A meeting at the marina–is this one of Ben’s tricks?
He seems to have corralled all the Oceanic Six.

At the beach, there are bottles of Ajira water–
And Danielle Rousseau, pregnant with her daughter.

Finally we see who’s alive–good old Jin!
This episode is an overall win.

“Jughead” Recap

Top Ten Reasons Why I Would Not Want to be a Character in the Episode Jughead:

  1. Death by bloody nose
  2. Death by having your neck snapped
  3. Death by land mine
  4. Threat of death by hydrogen bomb
  5. Danger of running into young versions of your parents
  6. Constant threat of being shot, either by gun or bow/arrow
  7. Giving birth on a boat
  8. Inability to speak the local language
  9. Having to prove that you’re from the future
  10. Being brain dead from a physics experiment gone wrong